Do you have any stupid criminal stories?

A woman wanted to hire a hit man to kill her husband. She had heard of the term "contract killing." So when she found the hit man (an undercover police officer) she asked him to sign a contract with the amount that she was offering him. Truth is stranger than fiction. She was found guilty. Two beer drinking good old boys tied a chain to a ATM machine and pulled it out with their pick up truck. They dragged it through town with sparks flying everywhere. A would be bank robber checked out two banks before robbing one. He took some stationery from the first back and used it to write the hold up notice on the backside when he went to the other bank.When he showed the teller the note, the teller told him that he could not accept a hold up note on stationery from another bank, and that he should try the bank across the street. The robber thanked him and walked out and back to the first bank where the police were waiting for him.